


The rain in his heart

by soldelata



Category: Bleach
Genre: F/M, Heart, No adultery, No cheating, Rain, Summer, Well not yet - Freeform, aesthetic fic, soul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-23
Updated: 2016-09-23
Packaged: 2018-08-16 20:21:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8116213
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/soldelata/pseuds/soldelata
Summary: The rain fell in his heart, in his soul.





	

The rain falling in his heart

The rain drummed on to the hospital roof, and all was grey. The sky was grey. The rain was grey- of a sort. His heart was heavy, but it had been heavy for a long, long, long time, so it made no difference to him.

His world was black and white now, though it had not always been- black, white, and sometimes grey, bleached of its colours, hospital floors, doctor’s coats and fake smiles; the red of blood and the smell of death; the people looking, looking at him as if he was an oddity, and who knew? Maybe he was.

An oddity. That sounded a lot like him.

He walked on, the grey and the black and the white blending behind him. The last quincy- though he had given that up as well, to be a doctor in this stark white hospital, an oddity of a man, an oddity of a man who was a workaholic, an oddity of a man who clung to his teenage heart.

A flash of bright orange hair caught his eye in the hallway, and his heart beat faster. Was it her? No, of course not. Why would she be here, anyways? He’d moved past that, he’d buried that part of his heart in the sand. She was happy, and that was enough for him. He still looked back at the bright orange flash in the hallway- it was a teenage girl- one who looked nothing like someone he loved and thought of often, but it stirred memories in his heart.

Memories of sunshine, of a quiet, beautiful smile. She had never attracted attention to herself, instead was quiet, and kind, like a candle. She gave so much more than she took- always willing to be there, helping him, helping others without a thought to herself. Giving without sadness, loving without expecting anything in return.

He was being selfish, thinking of her like this. She was happy- wasn’t that enough for him? She was with someone she had always loved, she was happy- so why did it hurt so much? She was happy, he reminded herself once again.

He sighed.

She sat at home, near the window, looking out at the rain. Ichigo was working, and it seemed to be a busy day- or rather a busy evening. She sighed. She was worried about someone- a friend, maybe more than a friend to her, there were no words to describe what he was to her. He was getting paler and thinner everyday. He was working too hard, there was no need for him to work so hard. He rarely had time to come for dinner every now and then, and she was very worried about him. Should she buy some bread for him? He enjoyed bread, didn’t he? He had always accepted it when they were younger, with a quiet smile, and his soft eyes.

She smiled, remembering when they were all younger, when they were still in high school. When they were brave young people facing a huge world, when they were pioneers, when they went to the realm of souls and when they came back again. Quiet Ishida kun, so different from Kurosaki-kun, but still as admirable and courageous. He had always been kind to her, and had done so much for both his friends and for everyone else. He had given without taking, given without expecting anyone to give in return. But now he was distancing himself, she wondered what was wrong. 

Maybe she really should get that bread loaf for him.

“Kazui-kun, we’re going to the shop!”, she called.

Giggles sounded throughout the house, and the pitter patter of tiny feet sounded. Kazui zoomed up to her, embracing her legs and tugging on her dress. She smiled.

They walked down the path, holding the umbrella high above their heads. 

“Kazui KUN!”, she called. “You’ll get wet!” 

The toddler paid her no heed, but chased ahead of her on the path. Soon, they reached the shop, out of breath and wheezing heavily. Well she was wheezing, not Kazui. He had as much energy as a wrecking ball.

They entered. 

“Mommy, mommy, mommy!”, Kazui-kun tugged on her dress. “Can I go get some candy?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” she smiled. He reminded her so much of Ichigo- the happier side of Ichigo, that he displayed more often, now that the rain no longer fell in his heart. So many of her friends had had rain in their hearts, and only one still retained it. Rain in one’s heart was really such a terrible thing, and not much could make it go away.

She sighed, and headed for the bread section. Hm… Milk bread, raisin bread, fruit bread? Which one. Fruit bread. She reached for the fruit bread, and caught hold of it, which was really quite funny, as someone else had done the same. She looked up.

“Oh!”, she said. Her heart went still for a moment, as she saw who it was. “Ishida kun?”

“Hello, Inoue.”, he said, his voice a soft, quiet whisper, same as it had always been. Always Inoue, she was to him. Never Kurosaki-san, as the others called her, it made her remember when she had been younger and he had been younger and they had had the world. It made her remember his touch, like the soft touch of the rain on the fields, and not like the lightning touch of Ichigo’s.

The moment was soft. It was quiet, and nothing much- it was quiet and all it ever needed to be. He held the bread and she held the bread and they looked at each other, souls laid bare.They looked at each other and they both saw what they could have had, what they could have shared, but what was now gone, never to be shared again. The moment felt like a million moments had been compressed and fit into one- everlasting, peaceful, quiet, embracing; it was a moment that she had never experienced before. This was a moment that was different.

This was a moment that was theirs.

“Uncle Ishida!” called a joyful voice. Kazui-kun ran up to Ishida kun, and hugged him.

“Hello there, Kazui.” Ishida said, in his soft voice, letting go of the bread. He smiled. Smiles had always come so quietly to Ishida kun, reserved for only the best and the most treasured of his heart.

The moment was theirs, but the moment was gone. And it would never come again.

As they left the shop, and it had stopped raining, and the sky was clear and blue. Kazui kun ran ahead of her, but for some reason, she could not smile at her son, at his silly antics. Her heart ached somehow, ached. Her heart ached for something that was gone. 

She walked on, back to her home, turning her back to the past, turning her back to him and all they could have had, because there was no way they could have it now. Their time had come and their time had gone and she had missed it, because she had taken passion over peace, she had wanted both. Maybe that was selfish of her, maybe not. She sighed.

Their moment had gone, like a million bursting fireworks.

He walked out of the shop, the sky was clear, and it was raining no more. The leaves on the trees were green and his heart was lighter somehow, or was it heavier? It was such a hard thing to know for him. The heart was a distant stranger, never seen nor heard, only felt deep in his being, deep in the rain in his heart. It had cleared, a little, if for only a while.

The sun had shone on him once again, if only for a moment, and the rain had been held back, if only for a moment, though his heart ached, with the knowledge that it was not meant for him. That sun would never be his, and he would always be one of rain and peace and sadness. The rain fell in his heart more lightly, like the rain that is a celebration of the monsoon, like the first rains of the year, a rain that is meant for happiness, and one that washed away the lingering depression in his soul. A rain that cleansed, if only it knew that the feelings would accumulate again

With lighter steps, heavier steps, he walked back to the hospital, to his stark white world and he once more threw himself into his work, the rain falling softly in his heart. 

It would never go away.

**Author's Note:**

> This was pretty fun! I blame Mizulily from tumblr for getting me into this ship and for this fic. I hope you enjoyed it!  
> Please leave a kudo/ a comment, stating what I can improve about my writing


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